A bad week!

This week hasn't been great. Things went from bad to worse. I ended up in Hospital on Sunday night with my depression and the boys are staying with their Dad's. This week has been hard for me being on my own with feeling the way I do but my friends have been checking in on me and helping me. Tuesday night Christchurch was hit with another aftershock 5.4 and Neil came and picked me up off the floor. It was so scary and it make me sick. I ended up staying with my wonderful friend for the night.

My life seems to be one big mess at the moment and can't see a way out. I want to move to Auckland and I have a place to stay but just can't get there. My Doctor thinks moving would be a great move due to my health and the earthquakes being a huge part of it but can't seem to get the help I need to move.

This week I have been in hiding in my bed, not doing much and can't find it in me to go out. I did go out today but didn't stay out long, had to come home. I never thought my life would end up this way. I thought I had everything I wanted with my boys and Neil.

But life does throw you a curve ball from time to time and we have to deal with it but why?

WHY?

Did my parents treat me the way they did my whole life?

Did Neil leave me?

Did Christchurch have to have so many earthquakes?

Did my sister assault me and Leigh?

Did a boy assault Jarrod at his school?

Did my ex husband not think to help sooner?

WHY!

I'm feeling lost and unsure how to move forward with my life.